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"I don't think cutting is bad."

"Young lady," came an indignant voice behind her. "You're mad! This is not how we do things in this country!"


The universe vanished. Her body vanished. The crowd vanished.

Her best friend's face faded into focus, "C'mon Shell, it's not worth it. We'll get tickets anyway."

The rest of the crowd faded into existence again. The universe re-formed. She headed to the back of the queue, angry at herself for giving in so easily, though she knew it wasn't something she was supposed to do.

"I'm sure you're going to love them. It's going to be great," exclaimed her friend, trying to distract her from what just happened.


The queue disappeared again. Her best friend disappeared. The roar of the crowd slowly increased in volume until it was almost deafening as the band walked onstage. Her best friend appeared beside her. She was right. It really was a great show, one both of them would remember for years.


Her memories were being reconnected to her neurons again, once again flooding across her synapses. She remembered a school, her school. There was a new boy there and she would lose herself staring at him.

"He's way out of my league," she thought. "He'd never notice me." And she was right. He didn't.

Her best friend kept trying to get her to talk to guys, but as the years passed, she withdrew deeper into herself, eventually leaving her best friend as the only person she had any real contact with.


Her high school stopped existing. Her bad grades stopped existing. Her high school classmates faded into nothingness.

She was in college now. She had memories of being a star student once, but the motivation was gone. Some days, all she could do was stare at her homework, while internally repeating a checklist of all her life's failures and past regrets.

There was no light at the end of the tunnel but daydreams of being rescued. She stopped believing she could rescue herself. And her prophesy was fulfilled. Her best friend never left her in spirit, but felt like a fireman next to a cancer patient.


The universe vanished and re-formed again. There she was on campus again, looking mostly like her memories of it from yesterday. Time restarted.

She met someone today. Was this who she was dreaming of? Did she create him out of her own mind? He seemed too good to be true. Everything seemed too perfect. She was happier than she had been in a long time.

But she knew it wouldn't last. She knew disaster would always follow good fortune, at least for her. And she was right.


The man of her dreams vanished. Time had passed. The happiness was drained from her body. It was replaced with constant tension. She spent all day walking on eggshells around him. She couldn't bear the thought of him leaving, but she didn't want him around either. Her best friend only saw her let down her guard when he wasn't around. That was when she wasn't afraid to say what was on her mind, when she wasn't afraid to laugh.

When he was around, she became a different person. Even the expression on her face changed. That was when her best friend usually left.


Her apartment was gone. Her ex-boyfriend was nowhere to be found. She was glad she severed all contact. New scars faded into view, scars that had formed over old scars. This was not the life she had wanted when she was little, but she had been taught that this was going to be the life she would have to expect. Life was not going to be fair for her, and it wasn't.


The young women in her life were gone. Her best friend was now aging. Her best friend had children. She did not. She tried not to be envious. Things weren't so bad these days. She did manage to have a few relationships over the years, but she no longer expected them to be perfect. And they weren't. Perhaps that's why they all ended. The world she was creating was never good enough for her. She no longer expected lasting happiness, and none came to find her.


She destroyed the universe once again, and rebuilt it once again from her memories. She sang a love song she remembered from her youth. It had been decades since she sang it, so she was unsure of the lyrics. She was curious enough to check the internet and was surprised when she discovered she had remembered the lyrics exactly.


Her best friend had passed away a few years back, and her own time was coming. Her best friend's children came to visit her, and for that she was grateful. After they left, she looked out her window for a few hours before closing her eyes and destroying all of existence.

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