Self esteem is not gained through positive thinking. You don't get it through a therapist or a guru. You gain it by setting goals and achieving them. Some of you who still think 'that people will start to love you if you think you are the most wonderful person in the world, even though the arrogant jerk that everyone hates is a counter example to that line of reasoning, may find this idea shocking. However, think about it. Self esteem is a sense of competence, a pride in one's abilities.
You can't feel competent and have pride in your abilities, if you have no abilities to take pride in. Some think people should have high self esteem just for being alive. However, let's face it, being born was something you never asked for, something you had nothing to do with, so how can you feel pride in that? So let's open the door and let the bracing air of reality in
Here's how to gain self esteem: Step number one-set goals. This will take some soul searching. Maybe you would like to brainstorm on a piece of paper or think about it with friends. Whatever works. I would recommend one start with a small goal, like making a very good pound cake.
Step number two-try to achieve these goals. You have to prepare first! You can't make a pound cake without sugar and flour! Try to find others who are going through similar problems or can dispense some good advice on the subject. If you have a problem with that, maybe check out a book from your local library on how to make a pound cake, or whatever goal you are striving for.
You may fail at first, making a rather lopsided cake instead of a fluffy taste treat. It is OK to feel sad, but remember to try again tomorrow! Although, if you fail enough times, you may want to reevaluate your goals or maybe ask more advice.
Success! You have made a pound cake to be proud of and can brag about to your friends! Don't you feel just a bit more in control? Don't stop there, make another goal and another. As you try to reach your goals, maybe you'll be able to make a life for yourself. Remember to surround yourself with support for the hard times.
A note: I often have low self esteem, so I wrote that to remind me of how to increase it. If this does not work for you, find an alternate means. Happy having self esteem!