Ookami

user since

Fri Oct 19 2007 at 01:32:18 (16.5 years ago )

last seen

Sat Aug 2 2008 at 21:44:25 (15.7 years ago )

number of write-ups

11 - View Ookami's writeups (feed)

level / experience

1 (Novice) / 248

mission drive within everything

To become a better writer

specialties

Sarcasm, alliteration, and all things random

school/company

Senior in highshool

most recent writeup

July 14, 2008

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• 18 situations that shout Watch Out!
• 20 ways to pamper your lover without spending a fortune
• 25 ways not to tell someone that you're in love with them
• 67 reasons why Butterfinger McFlurries suck
• A guide to passionate touching
• A pep talk for your penis
• A secondhand coffin
• All of your ideas have already occurred to others. Please stop bothering to think. You are selfishly wasting energy and oxygen.
• Alternatives to breaking up a relationship
• Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly
• Asking random people for wisdom
• Assassinate makes an ass out of ass, I, and Nate
• Bad jokes and the nature of racism
• C3PO is Darth Vader's alter ego
• Catch a Falling Star
• Celebrating the Fourth of July through highly dangerous homemade explosives
• David decides to fall
• Deliberately dropping pennies
• Dodging the draft
• Don't take sex too seriously
• Everything2 Easter Eggs
• Feature request for Universe 2.0
• Five rules to live by
• For Christmas, I made my Mom cry (idea)
• Forget what you think you know about the opposite sex
• Forget women - here's what men want
• Fun things to do in an elevator
• Geek's guide to working out
• Good practical jokes
• Guns don't kill people. Robots kill people.
• How do you know a girl wants to smooch?
• How not to transmit information faster than light speed
• How to attract the opposite sex
• How to be an asshole
• How to be Happy, Dammit
• how to breathe
• How to crash a bike
• How to defend yourself against a coconut
• How to get a girl's attention
• How to hide
• How to kick ass at a job interview
• How to ride a bicycle up an escalator
• How to run a roleplaying game
• How to sleep with 0 women in four simple steps
• How to survive against humans
• How to win a knife fight
• I am a robot.
• I am a verbal guerilla
• I am forced to smoke my cat
• I don't feel very proud
• I DON'T quit
• I had forgotten the bear's name, and could not find my way home to the Thousand Acre wood (person)
• I Know What You Had For Breakfast
• I never ventured in the woods and got drunk and slept
• I remember when it was me who made you want to take over the world and enslave humanity
• I used to think of marriage as a plate-glass window just begging for a brick
• I was promised flying cars
• I write messages on money
• I've frequently not been on boats
• Immortality blows
• In defense of robot domination
• In the end, only kindness matters
• Instructions to a Fetus
• interstellar travel
• It's not about the wedding; it's about the marriage
• It's the End of the World as We Know It
• Johnny Got His Gun
• Just because I'm black doesn't mean I can rap
• Kill Yourself
• Knife fight in a phone booth
• Learning to appreciate my skull
• Let it never be said I slept through it. I never sleep
• Let's fuck this donkey
• Lies we tell teenagers
• Life should be held in much higher regard
• liquid nitrogen
• Losing a Tailing Car
• Ma'am, we thought you should know: Your son is a homo sapien
• Magic items of limited practical use
• Mainstreaming Companion
• Making a flame appear from your hand
• Making someone feel loved
• Men are stupid, women are evil, food is good
• Mom... Dad... I'm MELODRAMATIC!
• Multiple Work-Ethic Personalities Disorder
• My first heirloom: a smelly crate
• My most embarrassing moment
• Never rely on an Artificial Intelligence to save you from fiery death
• Newton's Rape Manual and other surprises
• node audit
• One should expect as much from a machine
• Out of Order signs for personal gain and amusement
• Piss on the floor of the men's restroom
• Playing in the shower with a balloon
• Please eat the last bite of my cookie for me, then?
• Point of no Reply
• Prom physics
• Proof by handwaving
• Proof that Napoleon Bonaparte never existed
• Resignation from Adulthood
• Robot, you see, is a metaphor
• Saying goodbye to my father
• Secret bus driver wave
• sentence enhancer
• Seventeen ways to kill a sentence
• So this one-legged man walks into a bar
• Some advice on girls by a girl : the simple stuff
• Sorry I'm late. Windows XP forgot to sound my alarm this morning.
• Sorry, I can't hear what you say
• space war
• Standing in a parking lot at nine-thirty on a Saturday night, alone, wearing your best underwear
• Straight razor shave
• Surviving a long-distance plane flight
• Swearword Combos
• Sweaty man + sports shoe = Babe in leopard bikini
• Tactics for Defeating the Robot Menace
• Teaching your dog to bark more incessantly
• Techniques for Creative Thinking
• Tell me about your faith
• That which doesn't kill me makes me breakfast
• That's it. I quit team sanity.
• The "He can't tell the difference" beer commercial
• The "I'm getting my first shot" cry
• The Art of Insulting
• The bored who complain
• The Boy Who Will Never Win A Coin-Toss
• The Christmas box (personal)
• The Condom Game
• The Faith to ask for Faith
• the game of DOOM!
• The good, the bad, and the skinny on hugs
• The language of a terrified idiot
• The Modern Adventurer's Retrievable Rope Swing
• The Phantom Whistler
• The principles of nuclear weapon safety and meeting girls are remarkably similar
• The Star Wars Anti-Smoking Ad
• The three D's of a successful relationship - Deny Deny Deny
• The Three Men I Admired Most: Manhattan, 9/11/01
• Theory of Relativity
• Things I told my teenaged daughters about boys
• Things to consider if you think someone might be dead
• Things to do in a prom dress
• Things to do on Valentine's day when you're single
• Things to do, if you are hard-core
• This is a satire about the SATs. You might find it humorous.
• This place needs more actual content. Let's begin.
• To win the game you must kill me, John Romero
• Turkey City Lexicon: A Primer For Science Fiction Workshops
• Two cow economics
• Uberman's Sleep Schedule
• Unhealthy views of female sexuality
• Vaguely valid advice to prospective weight trainers
• Vampire Tag
• Well-written node - pity about its name
• What is it like to menstruate?
• What to do if a big dog attacks you (idea)
• What would happen if an immovable object were confronted with an unstoppable force?
• When you dream the end of the world, how does it happen?
• Why France sucks
• Why I can't seem to ever finish a node
• Why I did what I did
• Why I Still Like God
• Why people who jog live longer
• Writing for a wider audience
• Yesterday I kissed the girl I love
• You are precious to me. Did you know that?
• You, a human being. I, a robot.
• Your radical ideas about roman numerals have already occurred to others