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From the Seriously, What The Fuck Is In This files -

It's technically called the Beyond Burger, and it's probably sitting in the meat counter at one of the few select stores that carry it near you. It's been invested in by none other than Bill Gates and other investors, because they truly believe that this is the future of our protein needs.

Vegetarian burgers have been a bit of a joke in the past. Bland patties of lentils and chunks of other various bits of vegetables shaped into a perfect, mechanically pressed together circle and then perfectly frozen. They don't even remotely attempt to make it taste like meat and don't try - what you're having with your standard veggie burger is a veggie burger.

Which makes this something that people were raving about, with many, MANY online requests for details as to where this new product could be found.

It's produced by the company Beyond Meat, which is trying to make vegan fake meat something people would choose OVER "real" meat. That's part of the reason why it's alongside beef in the meat counter, because of two salient points. The first, a brilliant marketing move that has people think of vegan protein as a bona fide "meat". The second is because when cooked properly, it tastes SCARILY like a burger.

And I really, REALLY mean that.

The wife and I found it last night at Whole Foods. Uncharacteristically, it was in the vegiwierdian section, as opposed to being next to the meat. I enthusiastically scooped it up, wrapped as it was in a cellophane wrap over a styrofoam tray. We'd eaten for the night, but we decided to try it the following night. Armed with vegan mayonnaise and ketchup and mustard along with slices of onion and burger buns today, we placed them in a medium hot pan for three minutes a side, and then sat down to eat them.



Does it taste like the finest Angus Beef? Nope. But does it taste like the kind of mass-produced hamburger that people buy sackfulls of? Not fast food - but the sort you have in a cafe that buys its patties pre-made and flash frozen. And to answer the previous question... very, very, very almost. Like, if I hadn't been TOLD this wasn't beef, I wouldn't think to taste it extremely carefully and would probably be fooled.

And it "bleeds".

It contains beet juice, and the whole thing is meant to be cooked "rare" and to an internal temperature of 165F. The beet juice adds a slight sweetness, but the mouthfeel of the extruded soy-free protein is FLAWLESS. 20g of high quality vegan protein, which crisps up and grills like beef and tastes SCARILY like beef.

The only thing it's missing is cruelty, and the only downside is that it's about twice the cost of beef. Two patties cost about $5.99 but expect that to come down as this scales up.

And based on the initial demand, that might just happen. With the backing of the like of Bill Gates and serious buzz, oh yeah, it's very likely to happen.

And because of that - awwwww, yeah. Can't happen happen soon enough.