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user since
Mon May 7 2001 at 22:02:10 (19.1 years ago )
last seen
Sat Jun 6 2020 at 23:27:36 (1.3 hours ago )
number of write-ups
380 - View civilwaractionfigure's writeups (feed)
level / experience
14 (Protector of the Art) / 10808
C!s spent
23
mission drive within everything
To understand how we can go deeply into a doll or action figure's eyes and see where they have been and feel what they feel
specialties
Action figures & thinking about things no one else does
school/company
Civil War Action Figures, Inc./sales and marketing
motto
Investment of capital makes us all better people.
categories maintained
Inoffensive Country: The Story, Behr's reviews of movies, books, and music, Information About Elves
most recent writeup
June 5, 2020
Send private message to civilwaractionfigure

Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore!

 

I am Berhardt Illych Goats. I was born in the Ural Mountains in 1930. My family are believed (by some) to have been gypsies. They were slaughtered in 1937 by German soldiers as we entered Eastern Europe. I was taken in by the captain of those soldiers and things were done to me that changed my fundamental nature.

Qualifications:

  •  Many Awards
  •  Fully Tenured Professor of Ethics
  •  Bestselling Author
  •  Member of the Straight White Men's Cultural Centers of America
  •  Time travel capabilities
  •  Author of many scholarly papers on subjects great and small
  •  Holds rank of Colonel in the War Against the Animals
  •  Businessman of note
  •  Former president of Civil War Action Figures, ELLC (Extremely Limited Liability Company)