I like e2. I'm as happy as a button.
I am a young male sock puppet of indeterminate gender. For the first six years of my life I was a young gypsy girl called Ruby, free to roam the fields and valleys of my local area in search of hedgepigs.
Recently I have realised that when Mom and Dad stopped outside the encampment and said my real parents wanted me back they were not really joking. I have since tried to find them but they don't exist any more. Apparently.
Most of the things Mom told us were all lies anyway, like how seagulls grow in fields and when they're ripe they fly away. She also told us to look for tigers, and we'd get fifty cents.
When I grow old I'm going to lie to my kids, too. They learn quicker that way. Already we've planned to tell Tommy he's a six foot midget and originally came from a circus. That way whenever there's a circus in town we can drop him off for the evening and my husband and I can go out for a quick meal.
Something nice. Steak and chips for Ryan. I prefer lobster, with some of that D.H. Lawrence-style mayonnaise.