"Why do we have litter boxes in some of the school districts so kids can pee in them, because they identify as a furry?"
--Scott Jensen, former Minnesota Senator and Gubernatorial candidate, September 29, 2022.
I heard it again last Friday.
I substitute teach sometimes in nearby schools. You wouldn't think of this one as near to me-- it's in a small town just north of here-- but I'm on that side of the city and it's a fifteen minute drive on a good day. The school serves both the nearby rural communities and the bedroom communities that are gradually destroying the border between town and country. Nevertheless, it conforms to expectations of small town Ontario, somewhere between Riverdale* and Letterkenny. I was talking with the least-active table, who were more interested in Canada's hockey win the night before. Okay, fair.
And then a certain school was mentioned, one that, for various reasons, has a higher than average percentage of queer students. "I have problems with that school," the one guy said.
"Oh?" It has elite art and theatre programs. I taught there for the last part of my teaching career.
"They have litter boxes for people who think they're cats and dogs."
And once again, the cat children raise their furry heads.
The suburban myth has existed since at least the early 2000s, but came into its own in the early 2020s. It took the form of both moral panic and online head-shake. Someone claims that schools everywhere-- or some specific school, usually in or near your home town-- is providing litter boxes for children who identify as cats. Moral outrage and adolescent smirking follow.
The cat children began as an online hoax, aimed both at the trans and queer communities and DEI initiatives. It serves a slippery slope argument: if people can identify as a gender that is at odds with their biological sex, why not an aircraft carrier or a cat? And if they can be aircraft carriers or cats, wouldn't it be just like our "woke" schools to provide, say, docking berths or litter boxes?
The story has been repeated many times. It may have started in Canada or the United States, but international examples can be found. England had such an outrage. A teacher supposedly disciplined a student for not respecting some other kid's feline identity. The school responded that, no, no one at their school identifies as a cat. The greatest number of reports, however, appear to be in America where, leading to the 2024 election, it became a talking point among some candidates and right-of-centre influencers. Joe Rogan repeated the claim, though he later acknowledged that it was misinformation. In 2022, an NBC article identified at least twenty Republican candidates who had identified the cat children as an actual problem that needed to be addressed. In cases where specific schools or school boards were identified, responses were quick. No school provides litter boxes for the imaginary cat children.
Despite denials, the story persists. And it can be fairly easy to offer false proofs.
Like many monsters, sample cat children have been assembled from disparate parts. Furries exist, people who cosplay as animals, though they have little visible presence in high schools. In the early 2000s, there was a trend (which likely persists here and there) of Anime/Manga fans, in particular, wearing animal ears and ear hats. However, one need not go to them to find photographs proving the existence of cat children. It wouldn't be Halloween without someone dressing in cat ears, and that someone is often a teenage girl. And some schools do keep cat litter on hand, as part of the emergency supplies in the event of a lockdown situation. If someone, under such dire circumstances, really has to go, litter would help mask the stench. But the fact that schools now regularly prepare for active shooters carries much less weight with contemporary conservatives than imaginary instances of identity politics.
Prior to Friday, it had been months since I'd last heard the cat children mentioned offline. My wife knows the music director at a church in a small town, a different small town than the one where I recently covered the remedial class. As a result, she sometimes sings solos there. I don't follow any religion now, but I really like their current minister, a middle-aged man with a love for dad jokes and the downtrodden. He's genuine.
Anyway, my wife convinced me to attend their charity supper event. We were at a table consisting of us, the music director, and three older church ladies. When one heard that I had taught school for many years, she asked about the cat children. I explained that they did not exist. She seemed relieved, but that got us onto the presence of uncloseted queer kids. She wasn't too comfortable that there were same-sex couples wandering the halls and classrooms of our schools. Another church lady, who'd taught school decades ago, ventured an opinion on the matter.
"I saw a lot of kids treated just terribly because they were homosexual. Or somebody thought they were homosexual. If there's less of that going on now, then I think that's a good thing."
And there was nothing more to be said.
Some Sources:
Heidi Beedle. "Ganahl Falsely Claims That Kids Are 'Identifying as Cats... All Over Colorado & Schools Are Tolerating It.' The Colorado Times Recorder, September 26, 2022.
Alaina Demopoulos. "Joe Rogan admits schools don't have litter boxes for kids who 'identify' as furries." The Guardian. November 4, 2022.
James Greig. "Stop trying to make cat-children happen." DazedDigital.com. June 23, 2023.
Andrew Kaczynski. "Minnesota GOP nominee for governor claimed kids are using litter boxes in schools – it’s an internet hoax." CNN, October 3, 2022.
Tyler Kingkade, Ben Goggin, Ben Collins and Brandy Zadrozny. "How an urban myth about litter boxes in schools became a GOP talking point." NBC News. October 14, 2022.
"Litter boxes in schools hoax." Wikipedia.
Logan MacLean. "False stories of litter boxes in P.E.I. schools meant to ridicule trans community, advocates say". Saltwire.com. October 8, 2022.
Farhad Manjoo. "Opinion: America Is Being Consumed by a Moral Panic Over Trans People." The New York Times. September 1, 2022.
"OH-Sen: J.D. Vance (R) Demands Schools Notify Parents If Their Kids Identify As Chipmunks". Daily Kos. October 14, 2022.
"Republican retracts false claim schools placing litter boxes for ‘furry’ students." The Guardian. March 29, 2022.
Shane Ross. "Rumours about students identifying as cats are rooted in hate, says P.E.I. Public Schools Branch". CBC News. October 20, 2021.
"Rumour targeting students who identify as cats prompts response from yet another Canadian school." National Post. May 8, 2023.
Sharon Sullivan. "They Are Putting Litter Boxes in Schools for People Who Identify As Cats,' Says Boebert. 'Not True,' Responds Durango School District." The Colorado Times Recorder. October 4, 2022.
Peter Wade. "Litter Boxes and Election Lies: Marjorie Taylor Greene's Unhinged Trip to the Trump Rally". Rolling Stone. September 3, 2022.
*It pains me that I have to note that I mean the town in the comic book, and not the one featured in the TV show from a few years ago where the characters shared names with the ones in Archie Comics.
UPDATE: weroland alerted me to the fact that, soon after I posted this piece, that Texas governor Greg Abbott introduced "The Forbidding Unlawful Representation of Roleplaying in Education", or FURRIES Act, which will prohibit students from engaging in "any non-human behavior," including dressing like an animal or using a litter box. Schools that leave such behavior unchecked could be fined, while students could be suspended or face other sanctions, including being forced to attend a "juvenile justice education program." Exemptions for animal costumes will include school mascots, Halloween, and theatrical performances.
Governor Greg Abbott has cited the Cat children and school litterboxes as a reason for school voucher programs, despite being informed that, no, this isn't a thing.
These people really enjoy chasing their own tales.