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Wing Tsun stylists do not play fair. They harbor no romanticisms regarding combat. They will do everything in their power to avoid a fight.

However, if you force them to fight, they will hit you 85,000 times in 85,000 secret spots. When they do this, all your friends and family will simultaneously explode. Your tax return check will catch on fire. Your dog will get tapeworm. Sugar will materialize in the gas tank of your car. Your leg will fall asleep. Then it will fall off. The Blue Screen of Death with become your new desktop. Time will flow backwards. You will get many cavities. Lightbulbs will explode. Mr. T will eat your balls. Milk will shoot out of your nose, whether or not you were drinking any. You will find teeth in your pants pockets. Bruises will appear in the photos of your ancestors. All your base will belong to us. Your visual cataracts will miraculously be gone, but sadly, so will your eyeballs.

Wing Tsun stylists capitalize on the window of time provided by each successful strike by launching another strike. The first strike ends the fight, because it ensures all that follow. When the opponent is unconscious or otherwise rendered uncompetitive, the fight is over. Thus, you can see why Wing Tsun stylists never fight unless they have to. These methods are only acceptable in the most dire circumstances. The legal ramifications of accepting every challenge that came our way is too much for one man to ponder.

Believe it or not, this is all an extrapolation of the Wing Tsun principle "forward." Doing anything other than ending the fight as quickly as possible is "romantic," and should be called for what it is: either a sport or a "brawling art," not a "martial art." "Stick and move" methods are romantic, "one-hit kill" methods are romantic (because they're often unrealistic), wrestling with no strikes is romantic, punching with no kicks is romantic. Wing Tsun is a wonderful aggregate of all elements. Any fight that lasts longer than three seconds is being prolonged by one or both combatants. Don't believe the hype!!

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