display | more...

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess who looked a lot like Drew Barrymore, except for the nose and eyes and mouth. At any rate, this princess was really quite particular and simply refused to date any prince who didn't look like Brad Pitt.

One day, while she was busily oppressing the lower class or dyeing her hair suede or something, suddenly there came a tapping, as if-- um, rather, there was a knock on her bedroom door.

She opened it up with a sneer, thinking it was that Corey Feldman kid again. "Haven't you had enough abuse yet, you little creep?!" she exclaimed. Only it wasn't Corey Feldman this time; it was a meat grinder.

The meat grinder nodded admiringly, bowed deeply, and asked the princess to take him into her bedroom and place it on her pillow.

"Why should I?" she asked, her suspicions aroused.

"Because I'm a famous Hollywood hunk," the meat grinder replied.

The princess whined, "You don't look like a famous Hollywood hunk to me. You look like an ordinary meat grinder."

The meat grinder snorted. "Would an ordinary meat grinder be able to talk?"

She considered for a moment, and finally picked him up and carried him to her bed.

She placed him on the pillow, and asked him what he wanted.

"Well, like I said, I'm a famous Hollywood hunk. An evil witch put a horrid curse on me, turning me into-- into-- THIS. All need is a kiss from a socially superior princess, and I'll return to my normal form!"

And so, bravely thinking of Brad Pitt, the princess bent over to kiss the meat grinder.

And her face was ground into hamburger.

The End.

Log in or register to write something here or to contact authors.