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I've had it with these links that show up on various news organisation websites under titles such as "Acai Berry exposed" or "Acai Berry WARNING" or even "Acai Berry scam exposed" -- when the link itself brazenly takes you to an actual "acai berry" scam, a fake "report" claiming that these suspicious acai berry claims have been "investigated" and surprisingly confirmed. You can "lose forty pounds" with acai berry whatever (supplements, mostly) -- probably true if you eat that and nothing else. Or if you conscientiously diet and exercise, and have a bottle of acai bullshit product sitting on your shelf to remind you what a moron you'd have to be to think you could get in shape with a magic berry pill. So what's the truth? The truth, my friends, is that a healthy diet should include some berries -- not pills made from berry concentrate or essence or whatever they want to call it, just berries -- and there's nothing you can get from the exotic (and therefore expensive acai berry that you couldn't already get from your local blueberries and (in my opinion much tastier) blackberries.

The layout of the scam article is usually either a clever replica of an actual investigative journalism exposé, or a series of blog posts from some supposed midwestern mom who's trying out the goods herself, making regular reports of progress not only in weight loss, but in improved motor coordination or the sudden disappearance of that pesky stigmata. Inevitably, there are "comments" at the bottom from random internet surfers, all either reporting their own success with the same product, or excitement at the prospect of trying it out for themselves. The forum itself is always now 'closed for comments,' but how odd that these forum-browsers only ever have regular midwestern mom names: Janet; Alice; Martha. Nary an asslesschaps413 in the bunch, or even a last name much less a number incorporated in anyone's handle there. It doesn't take much searching to discover that the folks who sign up for the "free trials" offered on these various websites find their credit cards billed monthly, and the automated billing very hard to shake.

Just once I'd like to see a link to an article on "exposing" acai berry or its scams or its side effects take me to an honest to goodness news page, "acai berry linked to rectal cancer." It would take something like that to turn the heads of the typical victim of these scams and get them to pause before turning over their credit card number for a "free trial." The really sad thing is, there have been a few actual studies done showing some actual potential cancer benefits from acai berry, but that news is crushed beneath the feet of slimy con artists bent not on extracting health from a berry, but on extracting dollars from dimwits over a false promise of a trimmer waist.

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