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A person might take care of their appearance and manners solely for aesthetic reasons. We all carry around an image of ourselves in our heads, and if that image has grace and style (or whatever we prefer: energy, gulelessness, slapstick humor), we'll be happier. It need not involve how others judge us.
Another possibility is that you want to create a pleasurable aesthetic experience for others. This would involve taking care to look good and act properly in public, even though it's relatively depersonalized. It's like trying to turn yourself and your life into a work of art.

A further question: does concern with appearances necessarily translate to superficiality? If I want to look good in order to make my friends happier, because I value their well-being and share in their joy, is that shallow? Someone who judges others on their appearance is superficial, but what about someone who uses surfaces to access the depths?

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