display | more...
Warning - raunchy language.

This was comedian Andrew Dice Clay's most popular joke. It got to a point where people would actually recite the whole Nursery rhymes in his show with him.


--- Hickory dickory dock

some chick was sucking my cock

The clock struck two

I dropped my goo

I dumped the bitch on the next block


Good ol' mother goose, remember her? I fucked her.


Jack and Jill went up the hill

both with a buck and a quarter

Jill came down with 2.50.

That fucking whore.


Mary had a little lamb

she kept in her backyard

when she took her panties off

its willy dick got hard.


Yes, raunchy, yet hundreds of people would scream them at the top of their lungs in his shows.

Some of the better examples of Andrew Dice Clay's work are:

Three blind mice,
See how they run.
Where the fuck are they going?

Georgey porgey, puddin' and pie,
Jerked off in his girlfriend eye.
And when that eye was dried and shut,
Georgey fucked that one-eyed slut.

Little Boy Blew
Hey! He needed the money.

Little Miss Muffet
Sat on a tuffet
Eating her curds and whey.
Along came a spider,
Who sat down beside her,
And said, "Hey! What's in the bowl, bitch!"

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I fucked your mother in the ass
And she had you

Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard
to get her poor dog a bone

But when she bent over,
Rover took over
and he gave her a bone of his own!

Log in or register to write something here or to contact authors.