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(Lights go out on the mainstage and bar, come up on OMP.)

PARKER: You know, there’s probably a reason for everything being a love story.

ALEX: Yeah. Ticket sales.

PARKER: No, really. What’s the basic outline of a love story?

ALEX: (Counting on their fingers.) Guy meets girl, guy gets girl, guy loses girl, guy tries to get girl again, guy gets girl.

PARKER: And in a relationship, people do things like that. You meet someone, you fall in love, you both make mistakes, you do what you can to fix them, you hope it works.

ALEX: So what are movies, then? Wishful thinking?

PARKER: Yeah, basically. What was it that Oscar Wilde said? Life imitates art? Maybe it’s just that we’re trying to make our own relationships as clear cut as they are in the movies.

ALEX: Huh. Maybe. (Beat.) Or maybe it’s for ticket sales.

PARKER: Maybe. Did you know the ancient Greeks had four different words for love?

ALEX: Really?

PARKER: Yeah. One for physical attraction, one for deep, meaningful love, one for your family, and one for your friends.

ALEX: Huh. Sounds complicated.


ALEX: So where does that fit in your “simplify our lives” theory?

PARKER: Hmm. (Beat.) Maybe it’s why the ancient Greeks are all dead.

ALEX: (Pause.) It happens.

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