I have been invited to this coming weekend's Nodermeet, Planting Daisies and Generally Fucking it Up: A Houston Nodermeet. I have been to all the nodermeets since I took over Friend Behr's account, but I am going to have to think this one through due to what has been happening at the Nodermeets I have been to.

First of all, there is the adultery. It is unforgiveable. I will NOT abide it any longer. At the next Nodermeet, I am running all up into bedrooms, getting in people's faces, and telling them, "No more fucking adultery you fucking adulterer!" And then I WILL start hitting them will balled fists. As hard as I possibly can. Lets put some of these motherfuckers in the hospital.

Secondly, there is the shitting in the woods. I have seen this happen TOO MANY times at TOO MANY Nodermeets. There are rest rooms. Use them. There are barefoot hippie noder types and they might step in it with their rural feet. And then what? AND THEN WHAT? You people don't think. Probably because most of you went to school in the toilet.

Third, when I run a parking concession and charge very reasonable rates, I expect them to be PAID. I don't want noders driving off the lot by going over the curb or across anyone's lawn. I take over these properties, torture and execute those who oppose me, and use those properties for noders to park their cars on. I deserve to get paid. I am a businessman.

Now, once these issues are cleared up, then and only then will I agree to attend the Houston nodermeet. Are we clear?

Medically yours,

Dr. Peter Swilling

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