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I've never even smoked pot, but technically I'm a dope dealer, albeit a bad one.

I moved into a place back when I was about 19, a cabin I helped a friend build. It had a wood stove for heating, and it was rather cozy. While cleaning up the place a day after I moved in, I found a very large plastic ziplock bag of pot (about a pound or so).

Since my friend who left didn't leave a forwarding address, I didn't know what to do with it. I certainly didn't want to have a giant bag o' weed in my car or house; with my luck, I'd get caught with it. I called a different pal up for suggestions. and it turned out that he had started smoking pot, which was a total surprise to me since we were both well known to be non-partakers. I offered the bag o' weed to him, and he accepted very quickly.

He arrived soon enough, and brought along a six-pack of Coca-Cola. I gave him the stash, he gave me the Coke. It turned out to be average homegrown, but he had smokes for quite a while. I drank the six-pack that night.

I illegally traded marijuana for Coke, even though it was the legal caramel-coloured version. I certainly didn't make any money on the deal, but that's not the point. I technically traded an illegal substance for something else, even though the value was less than a dollar (this was about two decades ago).

I officially suck as a drug dealer. Luckily, I quit the biz after that one time. I didn't want to get caught by the Fuzz next time with a two-liter of Coke on me.

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