Book of Very Common Prayer

The Book of Very Common Prayer is attributed to Tender Branson in the novel Survivor by Chuck Palahniuk. A partial index of prayers is as follows:

• The Prayer to Delay Orgasm
• The Prayer to Lose Weight
• The Prayer to Stop Smoking
• The Prayer to Remove Mildew Stains
• The Prayer to Prevent Hair Loss
• The Prayer to Induce Erection
• The Prayer to Maintain an Erection
• The Prayer to Silence Barking Dogs
• The Prayer to Silence Car Alarms
• The Prayer to Prevent Parking Tickets
• The Prayer to Stop Plumbing Leaks
• The Prayer for Increased Vaginal Sensitivity
• The Prayer Against Drivetrain Noise
• The Prayer for a Parking Space
• The Prayer Against Excessive Underarm Wetness
• The Prayer for a Second Interview
• The Prayer to Locate a Lost Contact Lens
• The Prayer to Make Traffic Move
• The Prayer to Create Extra Storage Space
• The Prayer to Recycle Accumulated Newspapers
• The Prayer to Procrastinate
• The Prayer for Signing Important Documents You Don't Read