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A Celebrity Samurai is a person who falsely adopts Japanese characteristics or ideals without having any actual knowledge of the culture. Such people are a strange and beautiful delight, despite the actual crudeness and stereotyped nature of their existence, because like Celebrities they are compelled to entertain and like Samurai they take things very seriously. They constantly appear in fiction, where a Celebrity Samurai is a character based on offhand knowledge of the actual Samurai (Often referred to as a “Hollywood Samurai” - a Samurai trading bushido for more entertaining, marketable flair). The most famous example is perhaps the John Belushi Samurai character from the early years of Saturday Night Live. These individuals can be recognized by the following criteria:

1. No signs whatsoever of being remotely Asian.

2. Ability to mix and match information about Japanese, Chinese, and in some cases, Korean culture. i.e. Referencing Confucius or the Forbidden City.
2a. The above is rarely applicable unless the Celebrity Samurai speaks, which is uncommon, as most Celebrity Samurai do not speak Japanese. Speaking English often detracts from ones ability to look like a Samurai, and therefore most Celebrity Samurai simply remain silent or make indistinguishable grunts to convey their ideas.

3. Manner of Dress. A real (pardon the phrase) gung-ho Celebrity Samurai would probably wear a bathrobe with Japanese characters on it, and travel with some kind of sword. These fellas are particularly crazy. The more entertaining Celebrity Samurai would modernize their approach to clothing, dressing in stylized, well-tailored clothes that somehow maintain the spirit of a “super cool Japanese warrior”. Other modern factors in the Celebrity Samurai’s appearance include John Woo movies (John Woo is Chinese), specifically anything with Chow Yun-Fat (Chinese, but raised in Japan).

Ultimately, a Celebrity Samurai can lighten up any gathering or social occasion, but one should tread carefully - the most meager of accusations directed at a Celebrity Samurai could encourage him in all his wild eyed glory to commit seppuku.

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