It's not very often that I post a spam/scam email, but this one is so beautifully intricate in the heartstrings it tugs at and the level of bullshit it weaves that it's worth sharing.

Lightly annotated....

Compliment of the day,

I know this mail will come to you as a surprise since we haven't known or come across each other before considering the fact that I sourced your email contact through the Internet in search of trusted person who can assist me. (As one does.) My name is Ms.Ivanna Serhiy Koval, I'm a young girl of 24 year old from Kamianets-Podilskyi a city in the Smotrych River in western Ukraine (checked out, the city exists and the location is right) and presently I am residing in the Republic of Burkina Faso as a refugee due to killing of my father by the Russian forces firepower. My mother died 8years of ovarian cancers.My beloved father(Lieutenant Colonel Serhiy Koval) was a Ukrainian military with the 10th Mountain Infantry Brigade and also the top minesweeper with Ukraine's 143rd Landmine Defusing Center as well as the Head of western Ukraine Investment Authority. (the name is real, and the description is lifted pretty much word for word from a Euromaidan article on the deaths of some Ukranian soldiers.)

The brutal killing of my father took place on April 30, 2022 by the Russia soldiers in Donbas city as a result of the ongoing Russia-Ukraine war in Ukraine. I was in my first year in the West Ukrainian National University (WUNU) studying Arts & humanities before the sad incident that led to the death of my beloved father. Darling, I know that it is too early to disclose my life story to you but please bear with me. My living condition is very critical, please I need your help to reclaim my inheritance and start a new life. My uncle has sought to kill me so that he will have full control of my father's estate (niiiice plot twist, really ups the stakes) but I am happy that all his evil has failed.

Meanwhile, I decided to travel abroad in order to secure my future but the problem is that since I don't have an international passport, I cannot be allowed to enter any Country freely and legally. However, the only choice for me was to enter Poland, because it is not far from Kamianets-Podilskyi as many people are crossing to Poland so I joined them and crossed over to Poland. It was in my presence that the Poland soldiers gunned down Nechai Dmytruk, a famous activist at the Poland and Ukraine border. (If there ever was a famous activist gunned down, this wasn't one.) A lot happened during this conflict, it was awful, I only thank God that I'm alive today.

I arrived to Burkina Faso through the help of International Red Cross and Red Crescent Movement, they were moving people away from the Poland border because of the too much crowd and insecurity of the border, so they moved some people to Slovakia, some to Moldova and Turkey and few to Morocco and Burkina Faso. (There are literally zero Ukrainian refugees in Burkina Faso; there are refugees from neighbouring African countries, but the claim of Ukrainians being moved to Burkina Faso is so implausible it's hilarious.) I decided to come to Burkina Faso, because when my beloved father was alive, he revealed to me about the sum of $27.5 Million which he deposited in one of the Banks in Burkina Faso with my name as his next of kin. On my arrival to Ouagadougou, where the Bank is located, I contacted them to clear the money, but the Branch operation Manager who confirmed the deposited amount of money told me that my status as a refugee according to the Laws of Burkina Faso does not permit me to engage in any Bank transaction. He advised me to nominate a trustee who will stand on my behalf and carry out the operation. This has become necessary after I have been denied the right to own a Bank account or perform other forms of financial transaction here because I am a political asylum seeker. So, I decided to get in touch with you so that you will help me with the transfer of this money into your Bank account for investment in your Country. After you have received the money in your Bank account, you will send me some amount of money to process my traveling papers because I want to relocate to your Country where I will start a new life with you. (Well there's another twist.) And I intend to complete my academic studies in your Country. I accept to share my life with you and give you all my attention from day one of the meetings.

Immediately you confirm your interest to help me, then I will give you more details as to how we shall conclude this transaction. Please do let me know if you are interested in helping me with the transfer of the money into your bank account for possible investment in your Country so that I will send you more details on how you will stand as my trustee and finalize the transaction with the Bank where my dad deposited the money. I beg you please to keep this as a top secret between us for confidential reasons. At the moment I am living in the Mission House. Life in this place is very unbearable because we are not allowed to go out and we are monitored by the Church security guard. Please help me because I want to leave this place quickly to live my normal life with you. Reply me on my email address (redacted, but it's just their claimed name followed by gmail.com, no spaces)

I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours truly
Ms. Ivanna Serhiy Koval.
I wish that I could, without subjecting myself to further spam, contact this person and encourage them to try their hand at historical fiction, which I think would in the end offer a much greater reward for their talents then sending out random emails on the Internet.

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