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Should have been...
Awaiting the start of midnight mass
candlelight and music then
sleepy children climbing stairs to downy beds
presents placed carefully beneath a tree of lights
cold feet pressed up against warm calfs, snuggled in
drifting off with smiles in exhausted slumber
to awaken first (as per usual)
breakfast treats tiptoed to festive draped table
coffee machine drip set to begin
accidental noise designed to rouse
jump back into bed feigning sleep
waiting expectantly

tucked pillow behind the back
tricks used to fool the self
and an apartment that is far too quiet.


I am asking today, because it is important. I am asking because I usually don't ask for what I want. I usually don't ask for what I need. I need this. I need to feel the family pull...Give me inspiration. One moment of Christmas past. One moment of Christmas present. And one dream of Christmas future. Sing for me...


Dear Santa,
Fill me a bowl
brimming with stories
and spilling with joy
snippets and moments of love and of laughter
pile me smiles under my tree
extend your warm hand
reach out and touch me.
Sincerely, Christine

ps: Here are two cookies and a glass of milk

There is only one way to save the world. The hard way. One soul at a time.

These days everyone seems to have a master plan for how things "ought to be" and they scream it from the rooftops as if it will make any difference.

Nothing will ever change until the hearts of men change. A wise man said that once.

People will say just about anything to attain or maintain power. It is the nature of things. Once they all get paranoid it starts to get really interesting. Especially if you are an outsider.

I have a brother who tends to have his birth celebrated today, even though it isn't his birthday. He thinks it is silly that people argue about the nature of this holiday, or so he tells me. He's just this guy, you know, and he wanted people to change from within and see who they really were and what they were capable of. The things they do in his name make him cry. He's running out of tissues.

If the flesh came into being because of the spirit, it is a marvel,
but if the spirit came into being because of the body, it is a marvel of marvels.
Yet I marvel at how this great wealth has come to dwell in this poverty.
Gospel of Thomas, 29
(Saying attributed to the Nazarene)

So often this holiday is a celebration of what goods and wealth we can bestow on those close to us, but if we have the ability to bestow these things, then those close to us are hardly in need. We use this holiday to celebrate our own success and power instead of coming to a realization about what lies all around us.

Is there anything more absurd than a wealthy man talking about how the government should help the poor? Well, other than how often hatred and intolerance has been used to "defend" Christianity...

Stop waiting for someone else to make a difference and do something. At least the horders who protect themselves with lock and gate and dismiss those in need as parasites are honest in the darkness of their hearts. Honesty counts for something.

There is always a road ahead that divides into two paths. One is the path that serves the self. The other is the path that serves all those one is capable of serving. You can always change your mind because the road will fork again. Nothing you have is worth keeping unless it is love, and even then, love becomes more valuable when you give it away.

Choices are the reason why we run the maze of samsara. It is up to you to make them. This is the nature of things.

I am always wrong and always will be. Merry Christmas.

I hate eggnog!

Tonight I got three clock radio alarm clocks.

  • One from my girlfriend.
  • One from my brother in-law.
  • One from my mother.
Oh well...

A conversation between Supervixen and SweetFaceBoy, aged 11.

"I don't know about Santa Claus," he said.

"How so?"

"It all just doesn't add up."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, how does he get all the presents and know where they go and deliver them all in one night. It doesn't seem possible."

"A lot of things happen that at first don't seem possible. Isn't it amazing that we can send Apollo 11men to walk on the moon? That a caterpillar can turn in to a butterfly? That children are born? There are things every day that don't seem possible that happen anyway."

"Do you believe in Santa?"

"I do. Let me ask you, do you feel better believing or not believing?"


"There you go."

"Thanks Mom."

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