is someone who loves trees
- in a more than platonic
way. They choose to manifest this love sexually
. Because i am a plant nerd
, i have been accused of being a dendrophiliac, but I am not. I would imagine the knotholes
would cause terrible splinters
, and wood isn't very yielding, but i guess the trees don't mind the extra nitrogen
. Females could find applications of this too, but the splinter problem still applies. If you do try it, watch out for owl
s in the holes.
I could spend a while describing how to have sex with plants, much like the how to have sex with a dolphin node. But since i have no experience, I'll have to pass. I do know that a plant's idea of sex is very different than ours. It is too different to use a direct analogy, but the closest thing would be that the male trees 'masturbate' pollen in the air and hope it lands on a female. This is complicated by Gametophytes, Sporophytes, and ploidy level, but no one cares about that stuff. But really, in a way, any time pollen touches your genital areas - and it does because it gets everywhere - you are having sex with plants.