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Someone once asked me why I was trans and I said well -- Once upon a time I was walking through the Old Forest and the Old Forest said to me, hey did you know a witch lives in these woods? And I said ayup. And the Old Forest said don't you think that's unusual for Connecticut? And I said well there's a forest talking to me so maybe not, and anyway this is Connecticut so you're not really old. And the Old Forest said oh yes I am I'm seventy-three and a half! And I said you're not an old forest until you forget how old you are. And the Old Forest said that's fair but don't you want to talk to the witch? And I said oh hell no. And the Old Forest said Oh yes you do, I've seen you going to her. And I said she doesn't want to talk to me no more. And the Old Forest said what did you do? And I said I might have let her cattle out of the pen once or twice. And the Old Forest said well you're dumb enough to be going off the trail here so I can see why you're dumb enough to mess with Black Annis. And I said I'm not dumb, I'm mad because she egged my house because I soaped her windows because she keeps making my front steps icy in the middle of summer because I've always hated her because she won the spelling bee in the Third Grade and I know she cheated. Somehow. Anyway I can't figure why she calls herself Black Annis if she's white as a sheet, and every time I ask someone why they tell me not to ask. And the Old Forest said okay, I think I touched a red-hot stove. And I said ayup.

And that's the answer to that.

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