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Golem. Atheist. Revolutionary

"Freedom is like having the top of your head openend up"

According to Discworld lore, a golem is an undead machine made of clay, powered by religious words written on scrolls and stuffed in a cavity inside his head. The scrolls have such lovely rules as:

  • Golem must have a Master
  • Golem must work
  • Thou shalt not kill
..and so forth.

And so they work. In the muckiest places. Silently. Without respite.

Dorfl shared the same fate as all the other golems, toiling away in Gerhardt Sock's abattoir,slaughtering and boning, until Captain Carrot Ironfoundersson bought the golem and literally put the receipt in Dorfl's head, freeing him of his shackles. His first deed after achieving freedom was to release every animal in the abbatoir and shoving an onion up his tormenters bottom and stuffing sage down their throats.

Because of his excellent assistance in solving the case of the poisoned patrician he was made a watchman. An atheistic, never sleeping, ceramic one, but nevertheless a watchman.

Terry Pratchett: Feet of Clay, Corgi 1997

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