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This time I was flying a helicopter with my old and funny friend Nasu. I think we made a bank robbery and escaped with the helicopter. My two younger brothers saw that and they blackmailed us saying they gonna tell the police but I knew they were only bluffing and wouldn't do such a thing. They only wanted to have their share of the money we snatched. Over cars, under electric wires - hi ho, that was really some going! Nasu was kind of scared couple of times because I flew so carelessly but nothing happened. Finally we reached the woods but my brothers were already after me for we had wasted time taking a scenery route. The dream ended dramatically as I spurted upwards leaving the toy helicopter of my brothers behind.

I was with a friend, climbing The Sea Palace, a huge, fragile stone tower in Dun Laoghaire, a seafront suburb of Dublin. As I climbed the spiral stairs my vertigo was getting worse and worse, but my friend didn't seem to be scared at all. We came out on to the top, and she danced around, waving her hands to say "Look how amazing the view is!", but all I could think about was how much the tower was swaying in the wind. It was swaying at least ten feet in either direction, and I couldn't keep my footing. I had to grab one of the railings, and I was in danger of falling off to my death hundreds of feet below. I could see the seafront buildings and the grey line of the ocean horizon seesawing underneath the featureless, windblown clouds. My friend didn't understand what was wrong with me. I finally got to my feet and scrambled back down the steps and ran all the way to the bottom of the tower.

At the bottom, when I was able to breathe properly and the landscape wasn't reeling back and forth like a melodramatic drunk, I was ashamed of how afraid I'd been. My friend strolled down the stairs and greeted me with a look that said "You're such a baby." I thought of skyscrapers, how many times taller they were than the little tower we just climbed, and how they sway in the wind too. I wondered if I was ever going to be a brave person.


Note: The Sea Palace does not actually exist. I dreamed it.
Here is some nice darkness:
  • Midnight, turn over. My bed is a boat and I am the captain. My bed is a plane and I am the pilot. My bed is a bicycle and I am riding upright no hands, headed straight to infinity. Keep riding.
  • Midnight, and the strung lights decide to turn into spiral loops of firecolor. I close/open my open/closed eyes and watch it all unravel. And watch, until it spirals into darkness.
  • Midnight, it is Heather & I refusing to give in to the end of a Saturday night. We are losers. We know it, and instead of heading home after the movie we drive down curving wooded streets, spying on Christmas lit houses. Talking. And talking. And talking.

    Something in the road. My instinct is to honk, why the fuck are there ten or so people crossing at this time of night? But. I slow, wait for the headlights to fully illuminate them. And .

    It is three does, four fawn. Prancing. Strutting their beautiful high asses across the street, easy as you please.

    And after that we were ready to go home.

  • After that I was ready to slide deeper. And sleep.

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