I think I put too much in. From what I've heard you get four paper hits for every drop of liquid. So I started out with three drops--ten people, that sounded about right. Then I looked at that big punch bowl at least three quarters full of strawberry kool-aid and that didn't seem anywhere close to right. Drop, drop, drop. And then four more; ten people, ten drops. But shit, this is a whole punch bowl and we're not going to drink all that, are we? I don't know. How many does a punch bowl of kool-aid serve? Drop, drop. I poured half of what was left in the vial into the bowl. It wasn't much, just about the width of a finger in that vial, but what that is in drops I've got no idea. Drops, what kind of measurement is that anyway, half the vial doesn't look like much. Of course neither does one little square centimeter of paper and that's only a quarter of a drop. Then you've got to figure in that we don't know the concentration of this stuff. It could be really diluted. I contemplated pouring the rest in, then decided against it. I've already lost all perspective on how much is in there anyway. Fifty drops? Fifteen?

You never really know how this stuff is going to hit you, but this time it is way up in the air. Maybe we will just keep this to ourselves. Half these people have never done it anyway. They won't know strong from weak. And saying things like "I don't know" and "I just dumped some in, be careful" will only scare them. We'll be fine. We've got each other.

I'm feeling good today. I'm even going to put on the headset, but we're leaving the guns. Bates should be back any minute and the rest of them are milling around outside the bus nervously awaiting the dinner bell. The cups are set out in a line. They are labeled with each persons name on masking tape; Chris, Scott, Sally, Mike, Cliff, on down the line. It reminds me of the field trips in kindergarten. Mittens clipped to sleeves, cups in hand (don't lose yours, you won't get another), shoes tied, headsets on.....

We walk single file, holding hands, through a hi-jacked doorway to the madness within.

-the gilded frame-
--Letters from a Savior; Offer for a few--


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