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I have
fathered children

I have not yet
seen them become parents

I have
traveled to three continents

I have not yet
seen eternal snow wastes

I have
kissed a stranger on a spring day in Prague

I have not yet
asked the mother of my children to lie with me under foreign sun

I have
brought steel together with my hands

I have not yet
guided my grandchild's hand to hold a tool

I have
borne weapons and ended life

I have not yet
asked forgiveness of my victims

I have
stood before the waters as they receded

I have not yet
turned to walk or run away

in the certainty that I never will.

116

I dreamt that I was standing there on that beach and looking at the life I had never lived but the losing of it was bleeding me dry nevertheless and I decided there was no reason to run

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