It is not that I do not have enough money already, making a good salary at my job as a fully tenured professor of ethics in the uber Greater Maryland University System. I used the word "uber" in part because I grew up in Germany in a house close to the wall but I refuse to use an umlaut because you can go fuck yourself if you have a problem with me not wanting to figure out the HTML code for that kind of thing. It would interfere with my train of thought which is fragile as I am given to going off on a tangent or two when I have to go look up some code to make an umlaut just because your ass is tighter than a size sixteen spandex thong on an elephant of about two years of age. Grow up.
As I was saying it isn't that I don't have enough money already, with my job and my outside interests, some of which have been ruled illegal by common sense lacking liberal judges and congresspeople. Therefore I won't go into that and get to the point. The point is that I have a new plan that is going to make me a lot of money.
While I was buying houses that had been foreclosed upon for four dollars and selling them for sixty grand and making a lot of coin on that scheme I started thinking about the movie business (a pipe link was used there - check it out). And I started thinking about actors and actresses and how I see some in a lot of different movies and how confusing it is that they aren't always the same person from one movie to the next. There is no reason to cause this kind of confusion in a sensible person like myself who is terrified of the idea of people consolidating power in the central federal government.
The thing is that fewer people are going to movies and more people are watching serial television series because they offer the same actors playing the same characters week after week. Why don't the people who make movies understand this absolute fact about human nature? And then I thought some more and realized that we live in a country where knowing something other people don't know gives you a leg up on the competition. And competition is what it is all about and that is part of why any kind of regulation of business in this country is wrong, wrong, wrong.
What I have done is written up a forty page prospectus which outlines my plan for forcing actors to choose one character to play and to require them by law to commit to this one character or get no more jobs, and by that I mean a law passed in California (where Hollywood is - a place you may remember from that pipelink I mentioned) because we must maintain states' rights in the courts. I know people who can get dirt on these actors that we could hold in a holding tank and threaten to release that dirt to the public if that actor tried to make a movie as a different character. Rough and tumble style cops could be used to enforce these laws.
My prospectus states in no uncertain terms that before this idea can be put into place I am to be paid a large and suitable package of money and bonds because I will be selling this idea to Hollywood and they have lots of money because of their movies even though their movies are failing (I think they make money off shows like Dexter which is a show I really like about a guy I would love to hang out with). The money can be brought back to the investors if Hollywood puts my plan into action. Soon your dreams will come true. Soon you will not have to face the confusion of seeing Bruce Willis play someone other than John McClain from the Die Hard films which are the only films he should be allowed to be in with the exception of appearing as that character in other movies. Just think about how excellent this would be and we would no longer have to be confused. We are sensible. We will win. Even in the face of liberalism.