The Discordians hold that everything can be related to the number five, as laid out in the Law of Fives. Many skeptics have scoffed at this theory, but then find that the more they look for it, the more the number five creeps into their experiences and worldview. Self-fulfilling prophecies are fun that way. But I digress.

The most mystical property discovered is that the number five can be mathematically proven to be both even and odd. The proof is quite straightforward, and the mental chaos that ensues is as good an example as any of the fact that disorder often results from unthinking adherence to order.

Proof that Five is both Even and Odd:

  1. Two is even
  2. Three is odd
  3. Two and Three is Five
  4. Therefore, Five is even and odd

Some nitpickers may point out that this proof can be applied to any number that is the sum of an odd and an even number. Since they are only trying to downplay the mystical nature of Five, the proper respose is to wave your hand dismissively at them while saying "Bah." This should cause them to feel so bad about doubting you that you can easily make them your slave.

Just in case your head hurts too much, read False mathematical proofs, especially Trick #4

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