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It always has. I don't consider it a phobia, because I can get on an airplane and get to my destination, even if I don't enjoy it (though Xanax helps).

Of course, I've known a lot of people in the commercial aviation business. And they have stories to tell.

Perhaps it's the two people who snorted cocaine off the wing of a 747 before they attached it to the fuselage that gives me this fear.

Or the airline captain who has a little speed bump before hurling us up into the air in a tiny pressurized tube.

Or the flight attendant who masturbates on a random seat when the plane's empty.

Of course, these are all just rationalizations so I don't have to admit I'm a control freak who's uncomfortable with placing his life in the hands of these people. I mean, I can drive a car if the driver suddenly forgets how. I can even swim in the ocean should a ship sink. But I don't think I could pull a Karen Black and fly a jumbo jet as she did in Airport '75. And I don't care what The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook says.

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