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OR, "I Couldn't Think of a Witty Star Wars/Bel-Air Pun"

This is a story all about how
My life got flipped, turned upside-down
And I'd like to take a minute, so sit down, there, mister
I'll tell you how I became a Jedi, and saved my sister

Planet Tatooine, where I was born and raised
Helpin' my uncle was where I spent most of my days
Chillin' out, maxin', goin' to flight school
And makin' repairs when the day's heat got cool

When a coupla droids came in on a trader ship
We bought them up and didn't think too much of it
I made one little twist, and the R2 got weird
And a hologram of the princess just up and appeared

She begged and pleaded for us to find Kenobi
So I grabbed the little dudes, went to him and said, “Yo, G!”
So we talked, 'bout my dad, flyin' 'ships, and the Force
He asked me to join him; I thought; then, “Of course!”

First class, yo, goin' to Mos Eisley
Found a dude who shot first; we flew to Alderaan nicely
But turns out it blew up, and we found a not-moon
Princess Leia was captive there, to be executed soon!

So while Kenobi snuck off, like a sneaky old man
We found where she was held and came up with a plan
We rescued the princess and took off through the space port
But not before Darth Vader cut Kenobi's life short!

Well, uh, the ship landed, and when I came out
There was a dude who looked like an ol' buddy, callin' my name out
“I can't go fight Vader yet, I just got here!”
But later I changed my mind, and in a fighter I disappeared

We started the mission, and when the time was nigh
Vader showed up and blew peeps right outta the sky
If anything, I could tell we weren't making a dent
So I believed in the Force and I aimed for the vent!

I... got... back to the moon base sooner or later
and I yelled to the people, “Those Clones, they're just haters!”
I looked at my ceremony, I was finally there
Leia sat on her throne, and I could finally lose myself in Chewbacca's dreamy hair.


Wrote this little ditty for a Star Wars–themed high school assignment. Best smile I ever received from my Civics teacher.


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