Standard disclaimer: I swear I am not making this up! You can check for yourself at Until such time as someone can point me to the career biography of a General Malaise or a Colonel Kernel, Major General Funk shall remain my personal hero on grounds of extreme punworthiness.

Ben Ivan Funk was born to parents Dan and Maude Funk in Wray, Colorado, in 1913. A student of chemical engineering at the University of Denver, he might have remained safely anonymous for his entire life, had a sudden keen interest in aeronautics and aeronautical engineering not changed his life forever.

Toward the end of college, Funk inexplicably shifted his focus to the fairly young field of aeronautical engineering. Fresh out of school, he went through cadet training in the Army Air Corps Reserve and joined the 17th Attack Group, flying out of March Field in California. There he ferried newly manufactured B-17 bombers to their berths at Army air bases around the country, and eventually around the world. In 1939 he was still a ferry pilot with the rank of 2nd Lieutenant; with the outbreak of WWII, however, he transferred into the regular Air Corps.

His career throughout the war was unremarkable, inasmuch as he flew a number of successful bombing missions with no noteworthy mishaps. He began his rise to notoriety in 1942, with his promotion to the rank above Captain. Newly promoted Major Funk distinguished himself by organizing the 346th Bomb Group and leading it until the conclusion of the war in the Pacific. Recognizing Major Funk's major talent with paperwork, the brass transferred him to headquarters, and Major Funk soon found himself in charge of the Army Air Force Materiel and Equipment Section (Bomb).

There follow a number of years of acceptable but undistinguished clerical service on the part of Major Funk, with corresponding rises in rank. It was not until 1951, however, that the Funkmeister once again became noteworthy with his promotion to General Funk.

After a number of duty posts in Germany, General Funk returned to the US where he once again worked with Air Materiel Command, this time as deputy director of ballistic missile procurement (what, you thought they grew on trees?) He became an accomplished missile-toting desk jockey and in 1958 his fame grew ever more with his promotion to Major General.

More major, more general and certainly Funkier than ever before, Major General Funk assumed command of the Air Force's Ballistic Missile Center in Los Angeles, California. Major General Funk served with distinction as commander of the Center until his retirement in 1966. Yes folks, that's a total of 30 years of Funky service to our beloved country.

Major General Funk's claim to fame, is that he bears the single most punworthy name ever to grace the ranks of commissioned officers of the United States armed forces. Throughout his meteoric rise through the chain of command, from Major Funk, to General Funk and finally to Major General Funk, there was just no stoppin' the Funk.

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