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A commonly heard question echoing from the mouths of large, black clad individuals frequently known as bouncers in the UK. Normally targeted at young, young looking, or pissed individuals. While the aim of such people is to enter the establishment behind said large people, the bouncer regards the situation differently.

The prevalance of drinking as a teenage culture in the UK is such that almost all Britons will have gone through this weekly ritual for some time in their lives. Whether this is a good thing is something which I am sure I had an opinion on at some point, which has been lost for ever in the clear light brown depths which I lovingly call Stella.

As you might have guessed, avoiding this dark entry ritual is nontrivial, and normally involves either drinking in underage hell holes, where the beer will be expensive, and the non-teenage clientele frankly worrying, or to be female. Girls can normally get away with wearing low cut tops or similarly revealing attire, or by just generally looking too damn mature at a younger age than guys.

While avoidance of this phenomenon may not be an option, lying about your age is a popular one. Fake ID pimps can be found in every year of every school in the UK. For a sum, they will take a photo of you, and return something which might conceivably pass as a slightly flimsy novelty student ID.

There are varying tales as to how to bypass the bouncers; enter in small groups spaced at least a minute apart. Enter with as many females as possible. Look at the bouncer. Don't look at the bouncer. One tactic guaranteed not to work is to discuss said entry mechanisms within sight of the bouncers. This will result in humiliation.

Once turned 18, the majority of previous underage drinkers revel in the chance of flashing some genuine id at bouncers. The sad truth of the matter is that the second you become legal, you will never be IDed again, due to the innate psychic power of your average bouncer. The only known exception to this generally hard and fast rule is if you have forgotten your ID, or left your wallet at home, at which point you will immediately become the Arguing Underage Person in the bouncer's eye, and lose all hope of beery goodness in the bar you desired.

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