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stand/alone/bitch says
MR FEZ PLEASE GIVE ME A RECIPE FOR PASTA AND OLIVES STOP PLS ADVISE STOP YRS COMMA BITCH

thefez says

I DON’T USE NO FRIGGIN' RECIPES. MAKE UP A TASTY DISH AND I WILL TRY IT.

Okay, so to the challenge: Variety is lovely but not often in evidence in my pantry. Face it, I am single and lazy and sometimes too busy to wonder whether I should have more color on my shelves. I can cook, though, and I did tonight. I started without much, because I have been away for weeks so everything is either shelved or refrigerated.

Here’s what I had:

  • 1 box of colorful macaroni spirals
  • Ground beef - about a cup, maybe less
  • 6 cloves of garlic
  • 1 jar of sliced olives (cute little rings!)
  • about 3 tablespoons of mild salsa left in the back-of-the-fridge jar
  • Extra Virgin Olive Oil
  • salt
  • 1 pot, 1 non-stick pan
Here’s what I did:

Boiled the water for pasta in the pot. Then I put some oil in the pan, and while it heated I peeled and sliced the garlic. Tossed that in on a high flame so it sizzled and turned gold almost instantly. Turned down that fire, put a small handful (1/4 cup?) of olives in as well. Some more sizzling, about one minute.

By then the water had boiled so I poured the spirals and salted the water. Back to the pan, I crumbled the beef in and browned it on a medium flame. When it started getting juicy I added the salsa and a touch of salt. Almost fifteen minutes, lowish flame, somewhere between simmering and cooking.

When the pasta was close to soft but not quite, I drained it and put half into the pan with the meat stuffs. Mixed well. Let it brown a little, sizzle a little, and then turned off the fire with a SWISH and CLICK and dished the whole shezam onto my plate, steaming.

Prep time: 20 minutes.

OR

Here’s what I have:

  • The same box of macaroni spirals
  • The same olive oil
  • The same cloves of garlic
  • olive rings, BLACK this time
  • Flame Roasted Red Peppers, in a jar. (Not the hot kind)
  • frozen Asparagus cuts and tips
  • the same two pots, plus a small colander or bowl
  • Shredded or cubed chunks of mozarella
Here’s what I do:

Get the pasta cooking. You know how to do this, and if you don’t I’m not telling. In the pan you heat the oil while again, you peel and slice those cloves of garlic. Toss them in and lower the flame, add a few spoons of the goopy bits of pepper, which are dripping orangey oil because that is what they are stored in. When that gets to making good hopping noizes, add about a quarter cup of olives. Let it all do the sizzle thing while SWIFT you sneak some hot water from the pasta pot and pour it over 1/4 cup of asparagus in the third bowl. Drain that, so now it’s half defrosted. Chuck it into the pan as well. Sizzlesizzlesizzzzzzzz.

By now I hope your pasta is almost cooked. Edible but just a touch under slimy finished. Again, pour off your excess water and dump the pasta into the pan, stir. Two minutes, maybe three. When it’s ready (a good indication is when it starts to stick to the pan) it goes on your plate and you sprinkle/mix in the cheese. Eat.

YUM.

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