found your fingers underneath the pillows last night
i startled awake, faltered, turned away
felt the blanket pull gently towards your side of the bed
sometimes i forget that i try not to touch you anymore
found your
pink floyd tshirt in my dresser, with my socks
thought about throwing it across the room,
changing the locks
instead i closed the drawer quickly and now it is mine
i am keeping it,
in case you don't come back this time
i have taken to watching you while you put your coat on
trying to imprint in my memory what it looks like when
you don't care anymore
and you don't want to try again
when i finally stop wondering
and you leave so fast you forget to
close the door
welcome to the midnight sky
welcome to the cold
to the purples and the blues, the shadows and the dark
the noises and
the fears, the shivering alone