display | more...

Some of you Baltimore folk may want to know how to earn that title of Balti-moron. Well, my friends, I'm here to help you out, by imparting on you a bit of wisdom that I had to learn the hard way:

I don't know if you guys participate in Oriole-Mania, back in the day at the luxurious Memorial Stadium (isn't that a parking lot now?) or at the present day food-fest of Camden Yards, but if you do, you certainly know the drill about the Star Spangled Banner.

For those of you who don't, in Baltimore, we like to scream "O!" at the top of our lungs, instead of just singing a mellow little "oh..". At that part of our Anthem that's like "Oh, say, does that Star Spangled Banner yet wave?" Hey, man, we've got that American spirit. We like to annunciate the vowels in our national songs. Any excuse.

But what I might be able to save you from finding out the hard way is that people in other cities do not scream "O!" in the Star Spangled Banner. That's right, it's just a Baltimore thing. And let me tell you, out of experience, people in Boston give really weird looks to the guy in the stands who screams "O!" at that pivotal point in the national anthem before the Red Sox game.

You will surely look like a purebred Balti-moron. And while I have only attempted this strategy in the perma-construction site of Boston, I'd bet my last soft-shelled crab that it works all over this great country of ours.

Actually, a question: do they sing the Star Spangled Banner before an Expos game? Or do they have some kooky Canadian song? Anyways. Good luck!

Log in or register to write something here or to contact authors.