I'd like to think that I am not monstrously shallow, but being in High School I am surrounded by shallow, shallow people. Here are my observations, in a handy instruction manual.

  1. Constantly refer to yourself. Nothing displays a lack of deep thought like constant self-rumination. A variant of this is to actually direct someone else's conversation back to yourself. A sample exchange follows:
    A friend: Hey, this one time an old friend of mine and I went to an amusement park! While we were there, we....
    You: Yeah, once when I went to an amusement park, I.....

  2. Think very highly of yourself Shallow people like themselves. Deep people think about themselves and realize they are not perfect.

  3. Be impervious to sarcasm. While in the process of being monstrously shallow, people who are smarter than you will doubtless direct a number of sarcastic comments toward you. You must ignore this, in fact you shouldn't even realize it's sarcasm. Take it literally always. An example:
    You: I just love my new plaid hat, don't you?!
    Former friend: Yeah, it's great.
    You: Oh good, I'm so glad you like it!

  4. Scorn people socially below you. Shallow people always become popular, it's a law of nature. And when they become popular, they will look down on the people who are not. It's as simple as that. See Social Status in direct proportion to Personality.
So there you go! Follow this handy-dandy manual and you are well on your way to being monstrously shallow!
This was a nodeshell rescue. My good deed for the month.

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