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…because you bring out the worst in me. See this? This is me throwing my morals aside. This is me doing everything that I know I should not. This is me breaking down and having sex with you, even though we both know in the long-run it’s just going to cause me great psychological stress. In some burning corner of your mind, you’ve tagged and cataloged all of the times I’ve told you I love you, but locked them far enough away that you don’t have to think about it every day— don’t have to think about the fact that you don’t care as much for me, and that you know you’re hurting me. As long as you get what YOU want out of this, right? I know, I play the tease though, and in all honesty, of course I WANT it, of course I want YOU. If I weren’t such a sexually driven creature, this wouldn’t have even been an issue. But the fact is, I am, and through sex, I am only driven further into convincing myself that I love you.

This is a sick game, a bad ride, and I want to get off.

Just once, I want you to put your foot down. Just once, I want you to tell me that you want us to be friends and only friends, nothing more, ever. I want you to tell me once and for all that we will never have a relationship again, that it would be doomed anyway, that all hope I might have is futile. For my sake, and for yours, can’t you even look me in the eye and tell me that I mean relatively nothing to you other than sex, occasional advice, and a good backrub?
*Takes a deep breath*
I don’t know what to do with you… you’ve worn me out… YOU WIN. Just remember… you can’t always have your cake and eat it too.

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