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I don't really want to end up using E2 for day logs, but my last one was a bit sad, and someone asked me to write a bit more about myself, so here goes!

Happy things

  • I've started taking on projects at work I'm more comfortable with (backend development work, as opposed to frontend stuff, which I'm very rusty at) and have made quite a bit of progress.
  • I went to a tea party and made many new potential friends. Hooray!
Sad things:
  • My younger brother is starting to display signs of schizophrenia, but is very sensitive to me suggesting that he is struggling with what is and isn't real (all the stigma around mental health issues doesn't help either). A close friend of mine has psychosis and said she really appreciates when people tell her what is and isn't real when she is having an episode. I've been trying this approach with my brother, but he is often just barely coherent. Today he wanted to talk about divinity, vibrational frequences, God, other universes, and the time he visited the Underworld. I've tried talking to him about serious struggles I've had with mental health in the past, and it's helped him open up a bit, but it will take a lot more to get him to go see a psychologist with me. For now, I'm just going to trying being supportive and fund activities he likes (like dance lessons).
  • My grandmother is sick and lives in a dangerous place in the middle east. She can't get to a doctor or hospital if there is fighting happening, and her condition is urgent. It is very sad when kind people are dealt a shitty hand at life. I love her with all my heart and wish I could do something.
  • My mother increasingly cannot tolerate my father's verbal abuse and is considering leaving (but she is having lots of trouble finding a job and wouldn't be able to support herself). My father didn't used to be like this. His mental and physical health are both completely shot and he's worn down from years of providing for my entire family via low paying, physically demanding jobs. I thought maybe he was starting to buckle under financial pressure and debt, but when I offered to pay some of my family's expenses, he turned down my offer.

When I started out, I meant for this to be a happy daylog, so I could be like, "See, my last one was sad, but this one's better!" There are some unpleasant things, but I will work through them!

e2, I love you.

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