Americans. What are you going to do? I know. Quite sometime to witness. Abject stupidity. All over the place.
Hi, I'm Dr. Peter Swilling. I advertise on buses (sometimes - not as a rule).
For less than eighty dollars an hour, I am willing to sit down with you. How about that? Could you use a chat? With a doctor? Would that serve your purposes? What are your issues? Perversion? Loneliness? Shallow interests? Weak-minded? Tell me all about it in as much intimate detail as you can. I would love to hear about it. Stretch it out across the day bed. Stretch it out. You know you want to. Bad.
You're scared. The world is a scary place right now, isn't it? Come to me. Come sit beside me. Caring happens here. Caring happens now. Crayons.
As you know, the care of Friend Behr has been entrusted to me by no authorities. I have taken it upon myself, after my firing because I am not certified to practice medicine in this state, to spirit away Mr. Goats. I am giving him CARE. A lot of CARE. You would be surprised at how much CARE I am giving him. The news media lies.
People used to talk about Cyprus. NOT SO MUCH ANYMORE. Things change over time. The ebb and flow of the popularity of Cyprus discussions around FAMILY DINNER TABLES is not what it used to be. Any asshole can tell you that.
Do you have a shooting pain up your arm? Get it looked at.
Medically yours,
Dr. Peter Swilling