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A nodeshell commando action

Everyone tries their hand at baking at one point or another. But I can't. I can't bake delicious morsels anymore.

I have to stop making the food before the food unmakes me

What exactly are the consequences of eating raw eggs? I dunno, but I don't want to find out either, so I'd better try to cut back. My addiction started when I was much younger. I used to bake brownies for snacks while my parents were asleep. They didn't mind. I could handle myself in the kitchen, even when I was fairly young... But on one fateful day, after I had made the brownies and was putting the bowls away, my mom asked me, "Honey, don't you want to lick the bowl?"

Lick the bowl? That's crazy talk!

"Ummm... okay."

She handed me a spoon, and scraped a little brownie mix into a tiny dollop on the end of it and handed it to me. With that first bite, my journey to the dark side of confectionery was complete. I woke up earlier and earlier in the morning I baked more brownies and ate less. The brownies began to become thinner and thinner as time passed. I once even passed up cooking entirely, taking a quarter gallon of milk and a whole bowl of mix and making myself as sick as a dog (I don't think 10 year olds' bodies are supposed to hold as much brownie mix as I had in me). My addiction caused me to spread my baking wings and start up on other forms of food. Licking the bowl was like a gateway drug for baking. I started making pies, and truffles, baklava, and cookies... oh the cookies.... Much like the brownies, I could just eat a whole bowl of cookie mix... Chocolate chip mix, with fudge syrup instead of chips, is highly recommended.

I swear though, that it's not safe to get into a habit of this. Once you start making brownies, making cookies, making confections... Never lick the bowl unless you want to end up like me. Just... even if you've had it before. Just try to avoid the wracking temptation to eat raw cookie dough, or brownie mix, or lemon pie filling, or... ooh, lemon pie filling...

*Runs off with a wooden spoon*

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