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I am an evolved human being. A beacon of hope, if you will, for the people of tomorrow. Yes, my friends, it's true. I am two wisdom teeth short of a quartet. Imagine my surprise when, at the dentist's office just last year, he told me that there were only two of these oh-so-wise molars creeping their way through my gums.

Not four?
No, two.
Am I a freak?
Oh no. You're evolved.

I could hardly contain my excitement. Two! And we're evolved ! And, according to my dentist (who looks a bit like a Keebler Elf), I would be able to keep them forever! The Toothfairy hath shone her magical grace upon me. I immediately named my beautiful third molars "Einstein" and "Confucius." Wise indeed.

Fast forward to today. Approximately 4 hours ago, I received some sad news. My brave little wisemen, Einstein and Confucius, would be ripped from my body and thrown away like yesterday's newspaper. After spending a year bonding with my supposed life-long friends, this felt like a great wrong. Not only would I have to have surgery, but I would have my two wisest teeth snatched away from me. Help! Police! Why oh why is this happening to me? I'm evolved !

They haven't broken through yet. The oral surgeon says he'd like to remove them before they get the chance to mess it up for the rest of my teeth. But I'm getting a glimpse of postpartum depression. Woe is me, woe. is. me. Lady Evolution, why have you wronged me so?

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