Here is what I remember about you: how you would suddenly become serious with a quiet thoughtful look; your glances over into my eyes; the way you said my name.

I think of you when thunder crashes. I think of the time we ran out into the gazebo, in the heavy rain. It was warm, and showered down our backs and slid off our faces. We ran and it and felt so free.

I remember hiding under the awning of the bar in the rain and you standing quietly beside me, holding my hand. You were shaking. I thought you were cold then, but I know better now.

I remember telling you my darkest secret, and you never turning away from my face as I told you; tears chasing raindrops. You broke my heart that day. Something for something, I suppose.

I remember this: you were holding my hands, the sound of the rain, the smell of rain on the warm cement; your hands holding mine, your eyes holding mine; the heartbeat and the rain. We made love…

Breathe shallow, heart pounding rain pouring; you were trembling. You leaned over and I knew and was so afraid and pleased all at once. You kissed me. It was sweet and timid.

Hands clasped eyes closed all I felt was your lips, your mouth, and your heartbeat. "Shhhh! don't cry" I whispered to myself. I was trembling as my hands held fast onto yours.

I whispered many nothings and told you not to be so silly. I told you it wasn't your fault. The reason I was crying was because I didn't realize that a kiss could be this good, that your love could touch me again in such a magical way.

I wanted just one of your memories of this place to be good. Our love and the rain, the rain, the rain is what made me feel complete.

That wasn't the last day that I fell in love with you, but this is how I remember you, and always will. My only regret is that I have had no opportunity to thank you for giving back what was stolen by someone else - my sense of self, and the feeling that I would be okay again someday.

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