Jokey journalism. Why so jokey? Why not serious? Why so many jokes? Why I have so many questions? Let's rap.

Many problems. Different problems. One kind or another. Jokey journalism. Is one. Of these. Problems. Doesn't report. Just jokey stuff. Fluff. No peanut butter. Just fluff. Can you eat? That kind of sandwich? Keep it down? What if you put mayo. On the white bread. Wonder Bread. So soft. So delicate. What is made of? Not wheat. Substitute. Bleach. In the bread. In the motherfucking bread. White bread. What the fuck.

Problems. Cannot be solved. With jokey journalism. Accept. This is truth. Not fiction. Not up for debate. Serious journalism. This we need. Top flight individuals. Telling us things. Not jokesters. Not scam artists. This guy over here. Tucker fellow. I remember him. Late night infomercial. Hocking magic sleeping bags. Jokey journalism. On the television. Different channels. Jokesters. Not know what they saying. Just spew. Spew this. Spew that. Nonsense stuff. Pulled out of ass. Right up on television screen! Right up there! What the absolute fuck is wrong? With us? Letting this happen? DO SOMETHING.

How you gonna solve. Modern problems. With jokey journalism? Can't be done. Male plug into male plug. No electricity. Is okay sexually. If that is your thing. Get your groove on. Please and thank you. That isn't. What this. Is about. I'm not on your case. With you one-hundred percent, okay? Stop pulling at me. I'm not your sister. Fuckwit.

I am going to be giving. A lecture. At Harvard University. Next month. On the subject. Of. Jokey journalism. Tickets are available. Ticketmaster. Bring your sister. And her boyfriend. Threesome. Get it on. You don't know what will happen. In the back seat. Of a Buick.

Was Henry VIII a complete fuckwit? Did history do him wrong? Have we been victims? Of hubris. In this day. And age. Tell me the truth. What's on your mind. Pure energy.

You don't go. Into a public. Toilet in order to. Get jerked off. By the Prime Minister. Of a foreign nation. You don't. You just don't Anyone who tells you. Otherwise is wrong. Don't listen. Have a mind of your own. Otherwise you end up. In the basement. Of a house. In Cleveland. Guys with dirty jeans. White t-shirts. V-neck collars. Scruffy. Older than their natural. Age by far. They will do things. To you. In a basement. In Cleveland. In July. I shit you not. Shit like this happens. Every day. In a dirty. Basement. In Cleveland. Don't be. A fucking statistic.

Here in Northern. Maine we have. A saying. That we like. To say. From time to time. We say this. To each other. In times of sorrow. In times of joy. In times of modern day. Sexuality. We say it at Thanksgiving. On the Fourth of July. This is what we do. In Northern Maine.

Hitch your wagon. We're going fishing. Climb on board. Bring your sister. And her hot. Boyfriend that she has. Do not covet. Cover your breasts. Men will look. Men will stare. They like the boobage. Fucking weirdos.

Skinny. Hairy man. In your bedroom. Musical instrument. He is playing. You do not know. Who the fuck he is. Or why. He is in. Your bedroom. Playing sitar. You live alone. Or maybe you don't. Lonely in your flat. Pumping one out. Working fingers up. Inside of there. What the hell. Are you doing. Nutso lady? Don't shove. Your whole hand. Up inside. Of there. That isn't how. You do it. You have to do it. A different way. Unless you are rough. And you've been with a lot of men. At the same time. On a regular basis. I can't even. Begin to imagine. What your life. Is like. But I am glad. That you came. To everything2. Cultural renaissance. We are having. good place to recover. From slutty behavior.

Many noders there were. Some of them slutty. Slept around. Daggers were brandished. Infamous noder. Meet of 2003. Five men. Were slaughtered. Looking at titties. What we call boobage. In the country. Side of things. How is your boobage? A man might say. It is okay today. You might say in return. This is the way. That we do it. In Northern Maine.

Imagine it is. Ten below zero. You are walking. Around without. Any kind of shirt. On your body. No one knows. Why you would do this. But imagine the feeling. You now have. In your boobage. Very cold. Very chilly. Touch the skin. So cold. What are you? A piece of meat? You are freezing like one. People who eat. Other people. Are the luckiest people. On the face. Of what I'm talking about. Bring your hands together. Hand to your heart. We salute you. Brave people. Of Ukraine. We are but. Weak and sinister. When we see horror. And look away. Stare into the sunset. It won't last forever. The burning of one. Man is the burning. Of another.

Peace be with you. And with your kind. Amen. King's in the stable. Package of Chuckles. In Heaven.

Brought to you by The New Everything2, the place to recover from slutty behavior.

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