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Welcome to today's edition of random thoughts. The girls are being very silly today. They probably won't be ready to go when my husband leaves, and I'm in no hurry to get them to school because they are consistently disrespectful of my time, and the time of others. Maybe a few days of being late to school and having those consequences to deal with will help them recognize that it's nice when respect is given so it can be handed back in an appropriate manner. I stayed up late last night. And today, I'm okay with that. I stayed up later than I wanted to, but I'm in a good mood this morning, and I decided something yesterday. I'm going to stop being so hard on myself. I've done many things that I'm pleased with recently. I tend to be a person who holds things in, both joy and pain, and I want to recognize that I need outlets for those things, and work on ways to give myself more acceptance.

Yesterday the girls made me eggs and grits. That's not a bad meal, but I didn't feel very good after I ate it. Today I'm going to go grocery shopping. I'm going to be more meal centric when I hit the store today, I want a larger variety of foods in the house. We eat a lot of fruit, I'd like to balance that with more veggies. Last time I went shopping, I bought a large container of baby spinach. Several times I've served that as a salad base, and for the most part, the girls have eaten it with either no or minimal complaints. I tend to build things up as larger than they really are, and I'm going to try putting things back into perspective. My youngest is crying now because she wasn't ready to leave by the time her sister was. I puttered around, taking my time to delay until I was sure she would be late. She sat on the couch crying, and hopefully this will be the lesson she needs.

Got an update from the soccer game this past Saturday. Coaches are frustrated because the wet fields mean we haven't had much practice time. This week my oldest has a game on Thursday which is a make up game. Unfortunately, she also has a band concert she needs to attend. Next year I am not playing for her to be in band. This is the second year in a row we've wasted our money, and I'm kind of upset with myself for believing her when she said during the summer that she would practice and have a good attitude. I think that dropping out of band is something she's going to regret later on in life. I didn't practice when I was her age. I dropped out of piano, and wasted money my parents didn't have, and I regret that now as do other people I've spoken with who did similar things.

Going to keep this short, I have a lot of things to do today. Today's goal is to just be comfortable with who I am, imperfect in many ways, but accepting of some limitations, and hoping that not being so critical of myself will improve my overall self image and confidence.

Best wishes,

jess

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