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Important Note: This is a continuing work of fiction. See Part 1 for full disclaimer.

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My Fascinatingly Detailed Teen Angst Bullshit Day Log - Part 5

My mom's still freaked about the party. Why didn't I call, she was so worried, I could have been killed, yada yada yada. Like she fucking cares. I'm surprised she even noticed I was gone, the amount of wine she's knocking back these days. She tries the old "What's wrong, let me help you" shit, but I just stare at her until she backs down and leaves. Like she could ever understand.

There are no cornflake related incidents today. For that, at least, I am thankful.

Consider suicide. Decide to give it one more day.

I get to school, and Ryan isn't talking to me. He must be embarrassed after last night's tragedy of errors. Fucking men. They're all the same. Except Jerry, the new guy. He's hot. He looks like the sort of guy who could one day understand my pain. Not that he'd give a shit. Asshole. I hate them so much, all men are scum.

There's an exam first thing in the morning. I've been studying for this one, I need to pass so the teachers will cut me a break. It's pretty easy, and I can answer all the questions. I'll probably still fail it.

Drop my lunch tray on the floor in the cafeteria. Everyone laughs and cheers. Fuckers. I'll show them all. I get to a table, and Claire, the skanky whore, walks up to me. "So," she says, "I hear you and Ryan got... friendly last night." I look at her with disgust seeping through my every pore. Then she drops the big one on me - Ryan, the asshole, has told everyone he got lucky last night at the party. With me. This is slightly different from the real story, which saw him trying to cop a feel, and puking into the barbecue. Now everyone thinks I'm a slut. Well, Claire does. And Ryan's buddy Nick. Nobody else says anything, but you can see it in their eyes. Claire laughs at me, so I tell her to fuck off. She throws my milk in my face, and everyone laughs at me again, so I punch her in the tits and spit in her face. Teachers break it up before it gets really nasty, and I'm sent home. Before I leave, I find out I've failed the exam. Big fucking deal. I knew I would.

Get home. Totally ignore mom, and go upstairs. This is it. I've had enough of all this shit, those fuckers at school, Ryan, Claire, me, everyone. Tomorrow I'm going to finish it. My dad's old gun is hidden in a shoebox under the stairs - my mom doesn't realise that I know, but I do. Tomorrow I'm taking it to school. Once I've taken care of Ryan and Claire, I'm going to blow my brains out in front of everyone, in the cafeteria. That'll show them. Then maybe they'll understand.

Fall asleep writing my suicide note. Yeah, tomorrow. Then they'll see.


To be concluded...

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