This is the second to last track on
silverchair’s
Diorama album. Sonically, it comes the closest to mimicking the epic drama featured on their previous release,
Neon Ballroom. Lyrically, it echoes struggles previously featured in
Untitled, a b-side, and
Ana's Song, the highly publicized single that made
Daniel Johns’
eating disorder apparent.
Although also about anorexia, My Favourite Thing is very different from Ana’s Song. The chords here are a little less grating, a little less desperate. The vocals emote calm as opposed to panic. It is about delving into your mind to find out what's really important.
I've placed my voice inside the ‘I’ to interpret it properly. The words make no concrete sense aloud, but evoke image after image when you run them through your brain.
This is a song about transition. From one love to another.
Got my fever down, then weighed it up
I’ve gotten better, yes. The
symptoms of the sickness are gone, but this disease – this
ana – is still so much closer to me when pitted (weighed) against other things.
Everything has been weighed, until now.
Weight has been my life. I see the world through weight.
And I know the sounds remaining won’t strain all the silt from my eyes
Despite my supposed progress, this music, these sounds aren’t quite enough to make me see my mistakes. I’ve been digging my head in the sand for too long. I can’t be quite convinced. I know this.
Bleach the green from the pastures
Feast on the grey of the night
Bleaching color leaves shades of grey. Starving leaves
hunger. But the ease, the soothing result… I can feast on that. I can sustain on
nothing.
Ana love is a
paradox. By denying nourishment, I make myself stronger.
Straight from the vine’s refusal to shine
Vines are still colorless. No green, no health, no life. I took a risk in speaking out, and the implications have completely swamped my world.
If only I had stayed silent. If only.
The quiet ones know what they’re doing.
You’re my favourite thing
The one that I love
You’re the one so I’d die for your love
Ana is love.
Starvation is love, a love worth dying (starving) for. And yet…
I have to choose. Between loving a real person and being absorbed within a disorder. My favourite thing – which is it? Which is
the one that I love?
Blind the deafened moon, stimulate the tombs of angels
I am infused with
denial. I want to be blind, be deaf from any love that makes me reach out. This
death is an
addiction. Death is beautiful –
like you.
I’ll open my heart, won’t fall apart
Don’t fall apart
I’ve never been in love with someone I could touch.
It seems to fight the disintegration. Don’t fall apart, idiot, make sure you’re doing the right thing, make sure you’re strong enough… because if I’m strong enough to starve, I must be strong enough to love.
And I feel like letting go…
I can let go of life or I can let go of death.
Ana means a life that I can own. Mine. My own.
Love means a feeling that could easily go away.
To love, you have to
let go.
And ana, I’m letting go.
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