We do exist. There is not many of us, and the focus is usually on the female anorexics, but still, we are here.

Now, down to the business.

When I was a child, I was skinny and tall, proceeded to grow plump and tall, and then ended up the way I am now. 60 kg and 187 cm. I didn't eat much. I still don't.food is boring. It's not that I don't like the taste of food, but the idea of eating is something I find unexciting and dull. I eat once, max two times a day. I drink a lot of coffee, because It stops the hurting in my stomach. I reasoned this to people with an old chinese proverb.

" Eat when It's Time, sleep when it's time, die when it's time. "

( I don't know if I got it completely right, but that's the spirit of it. )

Obviously, this has left me looking very skinny, pale and tired. I like it. Every time I look in the mirror, I think I'm a good-looking son of a tunnel. I like my reflection.
( I'm obviously a bit of a narcissist, but what the hell. ) What I never liked was to see myself on videos and live cameras. I still don't.

Every so often, people would tell me I was incredibly skinny. I didn't think so. I thought I looked good. I can look on my senes moving in my hand, and I can see the shape of my bones.
I can count my ribs in the mirror. I can drum on my collar bones.
( Quite a cool sound. )

Sometimes people called me anorexic as well. I scoffed at Ttem. Of course I wasn't. I knew I wasn't skinny because I was afraid of being fat. I told them it was natural. I told them I knew anorexia when I saw It.
Then, one day, I got some pictures of me from a friend. I didn't know. I really didn't know. I always felt since I knew how I looked, I didn't need to see pictures of myself. But these ones were supposed to be something special.
( Like silly poses and stupid situations. )
What I saw was : anorexia. I have it, and I have it bad.

The more I thought about it, the more obvious it was. I'm anorexic. I still think it looks good. There is, for me, something incredibly more attractive about underweight people, but right now, I realize I'm a skeleton dipped in yellow wax.

This was a month ago. I'm still the same, but I try to do something about it. The problem lies in overcoming my disgust for food.

There is a very good thing about being anorexic, and a very bad thing, apart from that it might ultimately kill you.

The good thing is Going Drag and the bad thing is Otherwise heterosexual men that grope my Arse.

Interestingly, most of the male anorexia sufferers actually turn out to have gender issues. By restricting their food intake, they can delay the onset of puberty and even reduce or partly reverse the development of male secondary sexual characteristics.

This is because virilization is dependant upon the aromatization of oestrogen-like steroid hormones which can only occur in a lipid-rich environment.

These findings have been explored by Louis Gooren et al. in researching treatment of gender issues in childhood. Anorexia thus seems to be a phenomenon almost exclusively restricted to the female gender.

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