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Today my computer began its death rattle.
For some months now it has had at least one faulty cooling fan (see violent solutions to technical problems) and today it has decided to pack it in.

This, I told it, is unacceptable.

My noding for the weekend is not yet done! If I should wilfully neglect to buy a new fan for seven cheapass pounds and it should respond by tripping its ass chip into a frenzy of BSOD play, then matters will be arranged to give me time to tie up my affairs before I get on the phone and whup the collective ass of those responsible for my sound card, my graphics card, my knackered fan and my whistling monitor.

I skipped merrily to the freezer and pulled out a dry champagne cooler and a pair of plastic boxes full of a mysterious blue liquid. I wrenched off the side of my case (God bless its easily-accessible soul, though I would rather it were hinged) and filled the box with this Advanced Ice Substitute. I turned the knob of the radiator in the room to circulate cold water and I opened the window wide to the freezing night air. My right hand froze, as the window serves mainly to allow wind to freely pass over my mouse for no apparent reason, but my computer has behaved itself admirably these past few hours. No continual random BSODs and resets. Opera regains its former status as Paragon of Stability. No doubt the lifespan of my computer has been considerably reduced.

Maybe I'll overclock it tomorrow.

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