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Watch out for the Squoils.

Not the Squirrels. Those are grey and boring. They are stuck in Central Park and have nothing to offer. No, I'm talking about the Squoils. Little bit darker, little bit more ragged, and they've got this look in their eyes. You know, the look someone has when they've been outside on the street too long. Go out onto the street and look up at one of the trees. Have you ever seen a ragged little squirrel there? Hard luck. They've got their eyes on you now, and they know...

They actually know a lot of things, if you ask them, for the right price. NO, not a coin. You need an acorn from Central Park. What do you mean you don't keep acorns handy? You are unprepared to live in this city. This is why I talk to you. I want you to survive. Now, the Squoils will appear if you shake a handful of acorns like this. Remember that. Then they'll ask you a few questions about yourself. Not because they want to know, but because they already know the answers. Bloomberg's police surveilance cameras are a feint! A fake! He's in cahoots with the squoils!

Go with your acorns and ask them all the questions i can't answer for you. Ask them how close Coyote is. Ask them why the road caves in sometimes. Ask them if they know how to get to Sesame Street.

Ask them if they know how to get to Back New York. I never figured that one out.

 

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