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Note to self: What you are right now is not what you will be tomorrow. Your opinions, ideas, and feelings are very rarely static. You are aware that this can make it very difficult to decide who you are, and to make important decisions. The only apparant solution seems to be a statistical one - start writing things down, and over time look back and attempt to recognize patterns in your behavior and thought. This is what you are good at. Those ideas that recur most often will be the ones that are most innate to you.

Note to self: You do not know what you are good at.

Note to self: The sort of hyper-self-aware thinking evidenced in the previous note will ultimately only give you a headache. And don't even think of copying this note and pasting it immediately below. That will not be cool.

Note to self: The sort of hyper-self-aware thinking evidenced in the previous note will ultimately only give you a headache. And don't even think of copying this note and pasting it immediately below. That will not be cool.

Note to self: You suck.


Note to self: You do deeply stupid things when you are overcome with emotion. When you are drunk, you are capable of removing yourself enough to not make important decisions. Apply this skill elsewhere.

Note to self: Being in love is one of the least productive states of you. Recognize that no matter how lovely it feels right now, you will very probably end up feeling deeply fucked. Recognize that no matter how amazing and remarkable you may think a person is right now, they really probably suck as much as everyone else and you are preventing yourself from noticing this.

Note to self: It is entirely possible that you are generally physically and emotionally attracted to people who are terrible for you in a relationship context. This may be caused by your simultaneous and paradoxical desires for affection and independance. This may be responsible for the ill "fortune" recognized in the observations of your previous note.


Note to self: This is not going terribly well. In the face of such mood swings and tidal shifts, it may ultimately be more beneficial to simply behave in a wholly random and impulsive manner. It would almost certainly be more fun. This does not even yet take into account the ever-changing nature of those who surround you.

Note to self: The fact that acting randomly and impulsively sounds fun right now does not mean that it will a month from now.

Note to self: You suck. Or maybe you don't, I'm not at all sure. I'm pretty sure you are deeply confused.

Note to self: In your experience, those who act randomly and impulsively are terribly unhappy. On top of that, they rarely ever seem to get anything accomplished. This, of course, presumes that a goal like "getting things accomplished" is both desirable and worth working towards. And it even fails to specify what "things" it might be talking about, making the observation that much more useless. If you don't pick a starting point for what you think is "good" and "bad", you will never get anywhere. Then again, the point of this experiment is to figure out what you think is "good" and "bad". This is not going terribly well.


Note to self: Try starting small.

Note to self: You like pumpkin ice cream. And coconut too.

Note to self: Even the above statement is not always true. You cannot decide on something that simple, not 100%. You cannot prove your own existence to yourself. You appear to be fucked.

Note to self: Meta-commentary is getting really, really old.

Note to self: Meta-meta-commentary is getting really old too. YOU SUCK.


Note to self: This experiment has ultimately been a failure. It was flawed to begin with: it presumes that at some point you will achieve true objectivity and will then be able to review your notes and make some meaningful conclusions about yourself. This is not the case, and can never be the case. You are not objective, in spite of how much you may wish it. The best that you can do is fake objectivity, and when you are faking it to yourself you will not get anywhere.

Note to self: The preceding note may or may not be correct. But I'm pretty sure that it is.

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