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My cat walked by me. Twice. In the same direction. I'm allergic to cats.
Something is terribly wrong.

I went shopping at the mall today. I drove back in a red car. I hate red.
Something is terribly wrong.

I emptied the trash. It smelled of vinegar. erm...
Something is terribly wrong.

I sat down to take a piss. I scratched my armpits in front of my girlfriend.
Something is terribly wrong.

I'm drinking earl grey and reading the newspaper. Bergamot brings me out in a rash. The ink--
:::ring!! ring!!:::

My doctor called, interrupting me from The Sims. He said my pregnancy test came back negative. We set up an appointment to get my prostate tested.
Whew, I was afraid something was terribly wrong...

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